Do you find it difficult to be honest and open with yourself?

During consultation sessions with clients, I usually spend a fair amount of time getting to know them — their habits, their likes, their dislikes, their lifestyle... What I realized is that everybody has similar stories – what I call drama stories. I know a drama story when I hear one, because I used to have many of them. Those are the ones I turned into excuses for not obtaining what I really wanted in life.

Think of it as getting a clear mental picture of what you want. Because isn’t that the real secret to success? Ask anyone who has succeeded in anything in life and they will tell you that they had already succeeded in their mind before any action was taken.

Part of creating that clear mental image of success is getting to know yourself — not only what you want in the future, but what motivates you now that may be holding you back. Many people replace what they are missing in life with comfort food. So letting go of things — issues, people — that don’t serve any good in our lives is an important step to achieving the success we can see so clearly in our minds. And so is saying “NO!”, and starting to put ourselves first! That means accepting who we are, and what it is we love most, instead of pleasing everybody else.

The question I hear most often from people who say they want to change, who say they want to start putting themselves first is, What do I want? If only I knew what I want, they tell me.

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Comments

[Amy Sykes]

Nancy, Thank you for yet another inspiring newsletter. Last night I attended the Halton Hills Sports Museum 2008 Inductee Ceremony. There were 5 athletes from Georgetown who were awarded this honour and displays will be set up in the Gordon Alcott Hall (where Brian Clement was).

The keynote speaker Melanie Jans spoke about how she and any successful athletes achieve their goals. She stressed to dream and commit to your dreams, follow through by enjoying the journey and not only focusing on the end result, but to never lose focus of what you want to achieve.

Through all of the challenges in life and the "things" that appear to hold us back are truly only as you see them. I appreciate your life lessons and sharing them with me. I want more than ever to formulate what I want in life and actually follow through because I know it is for the best for me, no excuses.

Congratulations on your garden & greenhouse! It looks absolutely beautiful!

Have an amazing day being you!

True happiness... arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self.
Joseph Addison

Thank you!

Amy Sykes

features@independentfreepress.com
Special Features - The Independent & Free Press

[A friend]

Hi Nancy –
Your thoughts are excellent – thank you for these little gems of wisdom.
Thank you for your thoughts regarding putting ourselves first. We often hear people saying we women must learn to put ourselves first and we say “yes, good idea”. But it’s so very difficult to do with those we love clambering for our time and attention. But when you said “If you are not able to take care of yourself, who will?” - it hit a chord for me. I know my husband and kids love me dearly and would do anything for me. But they can’t help me to do what I have to do myself.

I find that I am running frantically mentally 24/7. I seem to often have WAAAAAY too much on my plate and I am forever behind in my time-management. No one puts this pressure on me – it’s my own doing. But I don’t know how to stop. I am a pretty organized person but I get confused multi-tasking. I can only really concentrate on one thing at a time. I have a terrible habit of procrastinating and allowing distractions to take me off-course. I am an artist, and passionate about my work. And even though I feel extremely grateful to the universe for the ability to practice my passion, I still de-rail myself regularly. It’s as if I feel I have to make my job more difficult, (it’s not difficult enough). When you talked about our drama stories and how they are really our excuses, I wondered if my habit of allowing distractions is just an elaborate excuse for myself.

If I could stop my mental gymnastics for awhile, I might be able to get closer to myself and figure things out. This feeling I’m talking about is one of being always “swamped”. Even when I decide to take a weekend off and not worry about anything, I am aware on some subliminal level of my personal “swamp”. I’ve given myself permission not to worry about it for awhile, but it’s still there, I’m just not cognitively thinking about it.

I’ve considered drugs, but generally don’t like that approach. Surely I can train my brain to slow down enough to hear my inner voice, and KNOW the right path. I realize you may immediately suggest meditation. I’d like to learn, but I have felt I just can’t add another thing to my schedule. I’m probably wrong, but meditation seems too simple an answer.

Anyway, I’d appreciate any thoughts you might have.
And once again – I hope you have a happy day!